Thursday, July 21, 2011

July - A Horse of a Different Color

When track season started Papa Nick asked to set up a morning to join Dawn Patrol at Monmouth Park. So on July 10, 2011 - our 7th anniversary (which will be important later - not that it isn't important on its own - well... you'll see...) we're having breakfast with the ponies.


The first part of the morning was a bit long for the younger folk since it was more history / culture lesson than action-packed adventure. But they discovered full length mirrors in the jockey's room (do jockeys really NEED full length mirrors??!) and thoroughly enjoyed being entertained by their doppelganger.
Our chariot awaits.
Almost as old as Ancient Rome itself, this tour de force of the automotive world is from the 1939 World's Fair. Yes, you read that right, 1-9-3-9.
PEEEE-EEEWW!!! STINKY!!
Keep in mind we're still sitting in the parking lot. All we did was TELL them we were going to drive through the barns. We weren't even remotely close to sniffing distance.

With the sudden lurch of a low gear choke, Nick flew off his seat & Adrienne cracked her head on the back.....

.... which they thought was all part of the fun, of course!!

And we're off!
Best two-some shot of the day.

Lots of natural light + intrigued kids = great shots.
A LOT of them. It wasn't easy narrowing it down to just these but I figured how many pictures do you REALLY want to look at... Wait a minute, pictures of these kids is exactly why you're HERE! Well then, here are the best of the best.

So much to see to the right....
(and yes, that is Larry the Cable Guy's twin brother in the background)
.... and so much to see on the left!!

Hey! Look over there!

Poor horse... he doesn't get any tub toys when he takes a bath....



Now look over there!!
Say, "Hay!"

This was pretty awesome. We came to a jerky halt as a guy approached the side of the tram, giving all the kids horseshoes that were actually worn IN the races!

I seeeee youuuuuuuuu

Trying it on, Lindsay Lohan style...

Oh much better. A headband.
(and what in the WORLD is going on with that HAIR!?!?)

Nick was up a little after 5am. That NEVER happens. We knew it was going to mean a rough morning... and here's where he fell apart.
The tram gave us another dose of whiplash as we were informed that the pony (singular) we were going to feed (as per the email confirmation which SPECIFICALLY said to **Bring carrots to feed the horses**, note the plurals there) was no longer at the park due to a GI problem. I brought TEN POUNDS of carrots with me. TEN POUNDS. I was prepared. Monmouth Park, not so much.
So we had to wait 8 minutes (Yes, 8, not 5, not 10, 8.) until the tractors got off the track so we could go in. Previously these 8 minutes were spent feeding the little old pony who is currently recouping.
Now 8 minutes really isn't a long time... unless you've got 50 people on a 70 year old tram just staring at each other in 90 degree heat & 90 % humidity.
I had fruit snacks with me for just such an emergency. And yes, I think this qualifies as an emergency. Well Nick dropped one (just ONE) of his fruit snacks & completely freaked when I wouldn't give the it back to him. Even Papa Nick tried to sway him with a few M&Ms. Nope. He ONLY wanted his manure flavored fruit snack. Of course this happened about 20 seconds into the 8 minute 'break'.
I gave it my all, I did. But about 6 minutes into pleading with him and trying to stave off a full blown meltdown I caved. The tears were welling and I did not want to be stuck a mile away from the grandstand with a shrieking, overtired toddler. I was NOT going to be the mom with THAT kid. Ehhh, he's eaten worse.
You won this battle kid, but rest assured, I'll win the war.

Seriously Papa Nick.... how in the WORLD did you get the horse to smile for the camera?!

Dawn Patrol ended and we drove Papou back home since Yiayia left him thumbing a ride (to be explained, along with the anniversary).
So now in this weird limbo of it being too late for breakfast, too early for lunch and WAY too early for a nap (even though Nick was walking around like a zombie). What's a girl to do?! Head to Asbury Park boardwalk for a snack!
I had no intention of photographing this particular outting, I merely wanted to get through it in one piece and Nick was a loose cannon, so I was stressing. But a breakfast pizza & glass of milk later they both wanted to see their OWN milk mustaches & since I didn't have a mirror....

Now, back to Yiayia ditching us at the track this morning... She got 'the call' to head out to Pennsy.... Baby Billows was on her way!
Welcome Evelyn Katherine, 7lbs 150z 21.5"!!
Jeez guys, a card would've been enough... you didn't have to go through all the trouble of giving us another niece for our 7th anniversary but what a lovely gift she is!
"Hmmmm.... well.... now that I'm here.... Should I get a mani or a pedi first!? "

Evelyn and big sister Olivia

The latest addition to & edition of the Billows family!

July - Only a biker knows why a dog sticks his head out the car window.

Another day, another trip to Great Adventure...
but THIS time it was with DADDY, Mima & PopPop (while I toiled away at work...)!
HOW Greg crammed himself into these pint-sized rides is beyond me....


Making friends with.... the ENEMY!?!? Well, apparently this cute little Benny wasn't all that bad so we'll let it slide.

Oh for heavens sake... first friends with a Benny and now THIS!!? Get that godforsaken embarrasment of a football team off your head. MUST I remind you, we're J-E-T-S family?! C'mon. You're 4 1/2. You know better.

And YOU! You better wipe that smile off of your face before I wipe it off for you! You listen to me, boy: Don't even THINK about walking into MY house with any facial piercings, rainbow colored hair or worst of all, New York Giants gear.

Adrienne's first day at..... Princess Camp!

I should've known the day was doomed (more on that in a moment) when the other 2 girls in her glass walked in donning full ballet gear. I looked at the teacher... "Should I run home and get her shoes and leotard?" The teacher said... "Well...... you don't HAVE to...." Needless to say, I threw Nick in the car, we raced back home, grabbed outfit #2 for the day.

As luck would have it (this would be the moment luck ran out) we got to catch 2 (!!) trains the minute we backed out of Princess Camp.

Let me start this tale of failures by saying I was NOT on my A-game. No particular reason why - I wasn't sick, there was no hoopla Friday night from which I was recovering, and I was already 1 1/2 cups of joe into my morning. But still... I could NOT get it together. Absolutely zero get-up-and-go umph. Most days, bumps in the road just make the ride more fun... But THIS particular Saturday... oh this Saturday, the whole day desperately needed to be repaved.
After leaving Princess Camp for the 2nd time, Nick & I headed to Target to pick up tights for Adrienne, since I realized I didn't have any that fit her (FAIL #2) when I ran home to get her ballet ensemble that I didn't think to put on her first thing this morning (FAIL #1). We pulled into the parking lot and I spotted a batter at Michael's announcing 50% off home collection frames. Awesome! 8 frames later Nick & I haul everything over to the counter, it rings up, I pay and then I realize - whoa. These were NOT 1/2 off. After arguing with the sales girl, then sales guy, I then learn that it was only this one manufacturer, 'Home Collection', that was 1/2 off. (FAIL #3) 20min later my card is refunded and we finally leave with nothing more than a slab of water color paints.
Next up, Target. All good, got the tights. Nick asked for cheese. (They get string cheese as a treat when they're being good at Target...) No problem. Paying for our loot Nick wanders over to the water fountain to get a drink. Next thing I know, some sort of commotion is going on over there... I look & he's WASHING HIS CHEESE in the water fountain. (FAIL #4) Gross. Cheese gets tossed, we leave.
He's now whimpering about wanting one more drink from the water fountain. By the time we get to the car he's WAILING for one more drink. Now I can't get him strapped in because he's arching his back and trying to rip the seatbelt out of my hands, "NO BUCKLE SEAT!!! NOOOOO......!!!! I WHAANN-NA DRINK A WAAAAATTTER!!" (FAIL #5) Now the punishment comes down. "Nick. Sit DOWN or you're going to go home and sit on the naughty chair." "NO!" and takes a swipe at me. "OK, now you're going home and going to your room." Oh CRAP! It's almost 11 & I have to pick Adrienne up at 11:30. I HATE making grandiose authoritarian declarations without thinking them through! (FAIL #6) Well, home we go & the animal gets thrown in his cage. It was the quickest imprisonment ever. It was mere seconds, not even a minute, before I ask him if he's all done. He reappears, blubbering, "Saaahhhh-weeee, mahhhh-meee." "OK buddy, would you like a CUP of water?" Big sigh... "Ohhhhkaaayyyy". Crisis over.
We picked Adrienne up, changed into outfit #3 and went to the park for a bit. We tried to feed the ducks with the stale Kix cereal that the kids refused to eat. That is, refused to eat until it became duck food which is apparently delicious and I can't get them to stop eating it. (FAIL #8) The ducks want no part of us so we can't get even remotely close to feed them and the ever-present brazen Canadian geese who practically take the food out of (along with) your fingers no-showed. But thanks to torrential downpours as of late the kids' are covered in mud up to their shins. (FAIL #9) Still, we play for a while and Adrienne wanted to go on the monkey bars.
Setting the scene: The monkey bars are part of an old school (circa '70s) metal jungle gym in the shape of a train engine. In the back there's a wood shelf about 18" deep that's hip height - too high to step over but just low enough to have to sorta crawl to get under. And considering the mud nastiness that's underneath, thanks but I won't be crawling under there to tangle myself up with rusty train parts today. HOWEVER, it's the perfect height for a little one to stand on to get a hold of the monkey bars.
So I'm on the outside of the train, Adrienne's on the ledge & grabs on to the first monkey bar, hangs for a second and I help her swing her hips back to stand on the ledge again. We do that a few times and she gets gutsy enough to go to the 2nd monkey bar. I warn her not to because I can't hold her up at that angle with the ledge between us. She does it. She loses her grip. Trying to 'help' her I held on even tighter to her hips which means......... instead of dropping 6' straight down and landing on her feet she essentially belly flopped onto a soggy, well-worn trench of mud and wood chips. Oh s***. Broken ribs? Face full of mud? Broken nose? Wind knocked out of her? All of the above?! (a BIG FAIL #10) An eerie quiet filled the air just before..... SCREAMMMM!!!!! And for once, I can't even blame her. Somehow she kept her face from hitting the ground (I'm STILL baffled as to how she managed that) but chest to toes, the poor thing was covered in yuck, mud and bugs. She's shrieking. I'm deciding if we should head straight to the ER. I call over to Nick to get a move on (who never even flinched when Adrienne started wailing - he's officially taken his first step towards manhood: Blocking Out Women 101) so he begrudgingly tossed down his stick / rock / bug / handful of dirt and trailed after us, "What did A'drin DO?" He demanded a full explanation as to why he had to leave the park (apparently her caterwauling wasn't explanation enough). She's moaning that her tummy hurts (but she's breathing normally & moving all her limbs so I'm thinking she'll live....), he's pouting in his car seat, my head is spinning. We're going home, rinsing off and starting this day over.
Still a little shaken over the whole thing (me, not so much her), I'm watching her like a hawk, still convinced she's got a broken rib or crushed organ or internal bleeding. But other than the occasional sniffle and 'Mommy, my tummy hurts' she seems to still be fully functioning. We get home, I march them around the side of the house to hose her down & clean off Nick's feet but I accidentally soak him (FAIL #11) in the process. Back inside, they sit down to eat lunch in the (almost) nude. Lunch progresses without any disasters, on to outfit #4 for the day and upstairs to go down for a nap. Including myself.
Everyone woke up right as rain. Awesome. But yikes! It was LATE and we had plans to go to the Shrimp Festival at the park this evening. I threw them in the car and ran over to BJs to grab a few essentials for the week. Everything went smooth as silk UNTIL the deli counter took almost 45min (!!!) (FAIL #12) to get through the 4 people ahead of us. That was AFTER we got our ticket & did the rest of our shopping. The kids were SO patient. We sang, we chatted with everyone else who was fit to be tied over the ridiculous wait, we finally got our cold cuts. Being that it's now 5:30ish we ran, literally RAN to the register, paid, threw everything in the car, got them strapped in and I realized: I forgot to get Greg's anniversary card. (FAIL #13) Our anniversary is in 6hrs. Oh sure, it was on my list & we bought OTHER cards. I even looked at anniversary cards FOR him. I just never PICKED one. I almost cried. But at this point.... The shrimp fest awaits and it was getting VERY late. On the way home we stopped at the bank to deposit a refund check that FINALLY arrived after 3mos of battling about its whereabouts. It won't go through the MAC. (FAIL #14) Are you KIDDING me?! I'm so done. I'm so done with this day and I know we have an entire festival yet to conquer.
I turned down the street that runs in front of the park where the festival is being held and.... dead stop. I'm about 6 cars back from where they stopped traffic to set up cones. This can't be happening. (FAIL #15) The next turn is about 1/4 up the road... all I have to do is put the cold stuff from our horrendously long BJs trip in the fridge and I'm coming right back.... HERE. The cop ended up standing next to my window. I was begging, literally PLEADING with him to somehow let me get through. Seriously, I was choking back tears. After insisting it was only going to take a minute (1 minute = 3 hours at this point) they finally started letting cars through AND THEN....... stopped the car in front of me to let the cars LEAVING the festival turn left. I'm not kidding. BJs is about 4 miles from our house. Including the stop at the bank it took a little over a 1/2hr to get home. Awful. Just awful.
BUT....... from the time the kids woke up from their nap they had been angels. Waiting at BJs... sitting through that traffic IN FRONT OF the fair that they were so anxiously waiting to get to.... they were perfect.
So finally... FINALLY!! We arrived at the biker rally. Err, I mean, the Shrimp Fest!

I gave them carte blanche.... What they wanted to do was bounce. And bounce. And BOUNCE. First up was the obstacle course bounce...
The carnie called down to me, "Want me to have her wait until the boy gets up so you can get a picture?" "Nah." He tells Adrienne to go ahead. At the top of her voice she shouts at him, "NO! I'm going to wait for my BROTHER!" Well alrighty then....
(it's hard to see their faces - click on the pictures to enlarge them)

3 (4?) bounce houses later I FINALLY convinced them to take a rest and go on the sole ride-ride. They were among the last to hop on yet my little amusement park pros wasted NO time in grabbing onto the wheel to start spinning the teacup. There was a collective "Oooohhh!" along the fence as the other parents who had been staring at their clueless kids sitting stationary in their teacups realized they could get themselves going. "Susie! Bobby! Grab the wheel & turn it!!" Geesh. Novices.

BTW... that's not a shadow or a weird color issue. He really was THAT red. And so was she...


Because, of course I was actually TRYING to get an awesome shot of her smiling face captured between the bars of the door while getting spun around at 40mph.

5 bounce contraptions & 1 ride later, walking the ENTIRE length of the festival, covered in sweat, completely overheated, exhausted & starving it was time to sip their favorite bev (lemonade) and indulge in Adrienne's favorite dinner: SHRIMP!
Lesson learned: What we NOW know is that she loves shrimp. But ONLY hibachi shrimp. She doesn't like shrimp cocktail or fried shrimp or shrimp in any kind of sauce or stick or salad. She only loves hibachi shrimp. Period.

Grovin' to the band...

... and lickin' his shrimp.
(as it turned out, he enjoyed eating, not just licking, the fried shrimp.... so all good)

And it's just not a fair without some livestock!
To wrap up the night..... a ride on a hog!